To Do

When people ask me or put in a discussion thread oh wow your strong, you are brave for not giving up, or here is my favorite wow you have a great support team, and family. Only if they knew.

The first thing I want to say is I love my husband and my son, and my sister SL, and BM. You would also say I love my daughter, even though I barely know her. (not by choice). Now getting to my point. This is what I have to do just to survive the day come walk with me.

During school time. I got up at 5:30 in the morning to get my son from work. Or just to leave so my husband can sleep without waking him up when I have to leave. Dropping my son back home, and then I have to make my 25-mile drive to the school. I have a great school I am going to. They allow me to get in there early some days, it is 2 hours before and the others, it is 3. Great time for me to work on blogs or homework for the coming day or whatnot. Emails, and doing what I am doing here is a blog. I am glad out of all 6 classes that I am taking that only 2 of them are in person and the others online. If I do to choose to stay late I can get my writing done, or blogs or just rest in the library. No I cant sleep up at school coots to the ones who can.

Also, before 8am, if I have to fight anyone on the phone, this is the time I do it. Not to mention emails. The amount of pain right now I am going through is causing me to look out through this 6th-floor view and just put my mind in other places. Snapping out of that I check my messages from my doctors seeing I am on two mycharts it does take me a bit to check all my doctor’s messages. SOme times it takes me up and until when the teachers come in to start class.

The redirection of this town is throwing me a bit of a loop, seeing I used to run these roads with MedStar. Eating my Chex mix and drinking my Starbucks triple shot ( the only ones that put my energy level back up as I try to prop my head up like in school and sleep. Like I said I am on the 6th floor so looking out dos give me some ideas to write about.

I have said this many times. I have Cowden. I might also have another diagnosed issue, and I am still working on finding that out soon. It honestly drives me crazy when someone tells me you don’t look sick; you don’t look like you’re in pain. My answer to that is I don’t want to sit at home and cry 24/7. Frankly, that would keep my eyes bruised, and I don’t look good with puffy eyes. My son and husband are great at times. If I mention what is wrong, they would both say oh, I have this. That drives me nuts, so I just keep quiet. Now to my blood family. I am going to bash them. Not 1 person, seriously, NOT one, has checked on me. Asked how am I doing. Have the doctors treated me any better? What can I do to help? I am not going to go any further into that.

I have started advocating for myself better with my doctors, so I should have. I am just getting tired of being put on the back burner in my care, so that is now a priority, and so is my writing my podcast.

Getting back to my topic. My daily list includes sleep, taxi, school, backup school work, writing, podcast planning, planner, medical care, nap, taxi, research, rest, pain meds if needed, sometimes eat if hungry, and some water mixed in. What kept me from graduating regularly was money, my ex, my job, my kid, and his afterschool program. without going into to much detail all I can say is that you can read more about this in the book I just wrote.

So you can say it’s my time to finish what I am doing and try not to overload myself. I will be getting my BA and then my master’s soon.