Dear hospital CEOs, doctors, nurses, insurance companies, Texas government, and federal government:
I don’t know how often I had to write this letter. I guess it was karma that windows killed my 3000-word letter last time and never saved it. I am lying here in tears, not only because of my anxiety and my depression, but I’m worried that one of my dogs is dying. So, with that said, my psychiatrist always told me to do what I am good at doing to get out of this funk. Again, I decided I would write this letter and maybe this time have it published. Perhaps my solutions and my suggestions might help somebody. So, with that said, everything I write here is about my situation, so there will be no violation of HIPAA.
So, let’s start with some context.
In 2004, I decided to fulfill my dream of becoming a paramedic. I graduated and became a medic for an enormous county in Texas. When I started working for this company, I started bleeding badly. You might want to think it’s just a heavy menstrual cycle, but it wasn’t. I worked for this company while bleeding. You can say I had been bleeding nonstop for 15 years. I had been going to my OB/GYN, but it took forever just to be seen by her. When she saw me, she just told me it was hormones and gave me a shot. Please put me on birth control. The birth control made me sick, and the bleeding intensified. I was bleeding through pads and tampons and menstrual cups. So bad that I was buying pads in bulk and washing my uniform so much that they started to fade. The whole 9 yards, I was miserable. I left the company after so many doctors’ appointments. I was tired, very fatigued, and I was scared. Nobody could tell me what was going on.
Other issues I was having were Migraines and dizziness. Again, the hospital referred to my “hormones” not running any tests or blood work. They were, in all actuality, gaslighting me. Remember that working as a medic; I didn’t even know what the word gaslighting meant until it started happening to me.
2019 I started having a tumor growing next to my anus, and they told me it was cancer. They scheduled me for surgery to remove the tumor, and they found out that my lining was abnormally thick after multiple tests. They found out that I also had a tumor in my uterus, so you can say that in 2019 I had stage three colon and stage two uterine cancer. All of this could’ve been found out back in 2004. The doctors didn’t want to do anything, so in 2019, here we are.
In August 2019, I had a complete hysterectomy of part of my colon removed. I spent a month and a half in the hospital. I almost died. If it wasn’t for Nurse that found out my medication was wrong and had things removed and sat down and talked to me about what was going on, and forced me to get up and sit in the chair. I wouldn’t be able to write this letter now right now. This nurse even made sure that they were taking care of me when they worked and made sure the doctors were not overpowering me because there were times that they had groups of doctors to come in and “exam” me, and that nurse would tell them to get out if they were seeing if I was getting nervous.
So, I had to have an ileostomy bag for over a year, and a port was put in, and six months later, the port had to be removed. It had to be removed because I was throwing clots, and they were afraid they were going to my lungs, and one was heading toward my heart. I also learned that a student ported in because the resident was between three operating rooms. After once every two weeks, I was in the hospital because of something with my ileostomy bag, or I was having a reaction to my chemo that was not normal. They decided to put me on oral chemo, and I responded better. But that in itself was a battle and a half. The migraines, the headaches, and not to mention the dizziness were because I have two holes behind my three little bones, and it is causing much pressure. I had to have multiple surgeries to fix these holes on both sides. Yes, I am talking about brain surgery, which happened thrice. The second time was with a different hospital from the one I mentioned above, and they found out that I had dead brain tissue seeping out of those holes. The original hospital should have seen all of this back in 2004.
Because of the lack of care I received, it is taking me longer to reach where I can have any sense of normalcy.
Now you may be asking if that is all fine and dandy and sorry about what had happened to you, but you said this was a letter. Yep, I am getting to that.
Hospital CEO is an exciting term. It means running an operation or business and knowing what is happening in your buildings. Remember, I know what you do and how you handle your business. It would be best to quit hiding in your office, get out there, and be with your people. Do you even know who works for you? Spend time on the ICU floor talking to your nurses, changing a bed or pan, and getting some sheets so a nurse can change a bed. Answer phone calls or nurses’ buttons. Bring the nurses some food and talk to your patients not as a CEO but as a person. Keep them company. You don’t have to tell them who you are. Just be there. I am sure you can find a patient that needs someone to keep them company.
Be present without your group. Also, regarding the parking, why do you think it is vital for y to be on the bottom floor? It is hard for disabled people to find parking locations at your hospital even before you take the first floor away. There are so many parking spaces on the first floor for “board members,” which are never used. Your employees are also using parking on the lower levels. That needs to change. You have all this money from the county from property taxes, not to mention grants from the government, both federal and state. You seem to don’t care even about the minor thing as parking. You must put up a parking garage for employees and leave the only one in front of the hospital for patients, family, and friends, enforce the parking; you and I know you will have employees wanting to park where they are not supposed to.
Also, please, for the love of God, fix your appointments. Instead of taking a pay bonus or a raise, how about hiring? Let me give you an example. When I was first diagnosed with Cowden Syndrome, I had doctors clamoring to get me into their doctor’s offices. Be it clinics or personal offices. Now it is taking five months for me to see my PCP. Three months to see my breast doctor and twelve months to see an eye doctor. Six months to be seen as a new patient for the pain management clinic, which is scary because now my pain is chronic, and when I am even being seen, I have to explain to the hospital people that my pain is not on the ten scales. Not to mention sports medicine for therapy on other things while you’re waiting to get into pain management, these have got to change. No wonder people turn to drugs, drinking or even killing themselves. Y’all are the problem how about being the solution.
Another department that needs to be overhauled is your mental health department. Not to mention eight months to have oral surgery. You know you have grants available for funds that can build up ALL of these departments from the federal government. Yes, I know about covid, I have an autoimmune disorder as well as PTSD and agoraphobia, and I understand the hospital employees are burned out. That is why you need to step up and get on the ball. Do some better research on getting funds to promote your hospital and get some staff to help with what you have.
While we are in the “hospital” arena, Doctors, you’re up. First off, I want to commend you on the battle against covid. But that is where I am going to stop. Do you even remember your oath? I never knew the word gaslighting until I became sick. I have often been told that my anxiety is causing my issues. No, and we found out from what I said prior that something else was wrong. Just stop; I understand pain medicine and how people are “drug seeking.” I get that, but how about helping them another way? If you are at a teaching hospital, how about actually teaching? Please don’t take on so many students that you can’t teach them correctly. Put your foot down with them if the hospital says no to that. It would be best to teach the student the correct way so people like me don’t have to write letters like this, or patients are so scared to seek help because they think you don’t know what you are doing. Because frankly, if you’re gaslighting someone, you don’t see what you are doing. Be there for your nurses. Please don’t give them any grief. They are only the messenger from the patient.
Remember, nurses save doctors assess. I am not saying they are better than you but treat them better and not work them on things they don’t need to do. Here is my solution let them know you are on the floor and check in with them at the desk. Be on the floor when you said you would be. Please don’t go into the rooms without them. That makes the patients nervous when the nurse ask what the doctors told them. Don’t bombard the patients in the room. Some, like me, can’t handle many people in the room. Frankly, please don’t talk to the patient like they are idiots. Treat them like they are a member of your family. (The one’s you like) Also, please do your research because, as a patient, we have done ours. If something is wrong, don’t gaslight us. Research, take your time. Don’t push us off like we are just a block of time. We came to you with a problem, a pain, or a question. Listen to us. Be available even if it is online, we can understand you are not on call—Check-in with us see how we are doing. Or here is an idea, ask us how we are doing. Don’t tell us how we are doing.
Nurses you are not off the hook. Stop acting you are holier than thou. You have some new nurses thinking that way. If you are an older nurse, please teach the newer ones that patients need to be heard not to be gaslighted. I know you have had it really rough, but you still need to make sure the doctor’s need to do their stuff correctly, stand up for your rights and not let the administration step all over you. Remember without you they don’t have a hospital. Talk to your patients even the ones that are being a pain, answer the questions that they ask if you don’t know don’t be afraid to ask someone who might know. I don’t know how many people both doctors and nurses I had to “teach” about my syndrome.
Insurance companies you are next on to get my beat stick. Like I have stated before in this letter, you have to do better. For example, patients like me, and I am sure that other referral people are tired frankly sick and tired of being denied request for doctor’s, test, and other things that we really need. I am having massive pain in my neck that is shooting down my left arm, as well as my right arm. My Sports Medicine doctor has ordered an MRI of my neck and spine. You have told them it is not needed. ARE YOU serious. Again, I am having to chase referrals not to mention phone calls. Also, how many trees are you cutting down for the amount of garbage you are sending me in the mail. Even though I have signed up for paperless. Insurance companies you need to be removed from the equation. I know that is a lot of jobs that would be removed but you are not doing anything good. You are actually doing more harm than good. You are causing more deaths, more pain, more stress, and more heartache than good. In other words, YOUR FIRED.
Saving the best for last. Not. Let’s start at the bottom and work our way up, shall we? I currently live in the “Great “state of Texas. The land of fighters but to be honest I am ashamed of my home state. The only fighters we have are the ones that want to harm people not like them.
This is the state of you do things my way or leave. This is the state of extremely high property taxes and well public figures who are being paid on the DL. This state doesn’t care about their disable, their homeless, or their vets. I have to pay child support out of my disability check to my ex who doesn’t let me see my daughter unless he is there and that is not going to happen due to my diagnosis. The state of Texas doesn’t care about this. While we are on the fact of this state, let’s talk about their stalking laws. THEY don’t enforce them. Health insurance the wonderful Governor told the federal government no thank you on the extra Medicaid money. Are you serious that would have helped a lot of people get the extra medical care that they needed. The government in this damn state only cares about making sure you don’t get an abortion, you don’t marry the person you love, and burning books that they are banning. (The last one was overturned thanks to a federal judge) The power grid, is another thing that needs to be fixed and yet they don’t want to do anything.
Alright here is my solution. Get rid of the Governor, and LT governor. Get rid of the creepy attorney general who massive lawsuit is costing the taxpayers millions which we have to pay for him to stay in office. Make this an equal party on both sides with child support. Get rid of all the people in the congress and house that have been there longer than four years. Also don’t let those run again. The lobbyist need to be outlawed and no longer allowed in the capital area that way maybe SOMETHING might get done. Allow the Medicaid expanded to be allowed in Texas. And for god’s sake lower the property taxes. The property taxes go to hospitals, schools, another items and frankly the schools are not properly funded and that is turn is hurting our kids. PAY YOUR TEACHERS BETTER! We get money for the leasing of our lands to the military RAISE THOSE PRICES. We also have an oil reserve that is not being used. Let the gas freaking flow. Not to mention we own a good portion of the gulf coast. There are ways to use water, algae, to a good advantage not just oil. We are not in the stone ages let’s get this done. Have more programs that help your vets and their families. Have better programs for the mentally ill not just red flag laws. Instead of the worse abortion laws in the country how about you mind your own business about women’s bodies. Instead of taking books away how about you leave them alone they were there to begin with for a reason. Hire more librarians to monitor the books. Because trust me if they can’t get them at school, they are going to get them somewhere.
Alright we are coming down to the home stretch.
You knew I wasn’t going to write a letter without talking about the federal government. Again, let’s start with the bottom and work our way up. Members of Congress and the Senate every single one of them not needs to be removed. We need to have a generalized election and the people that were removed cannot run again they need to have term limits just like the president of the United States. The benefits of Medicare and Medicaid and Social Security needs to be left alone. Matter of fact every single one of those benefits needs to be increased in proportion to the amount of people who have applied. Kill the IRS department any and all balances that are made with the IRS are whipped clear. The Supreme Court needs to be removed not expanded. The people who run the VA need to be removed and replaced. The people who run SSA need to be removed and replaced by someone who knows what they are doing. Both the President and the VP need to be replaced. In all actuality you are fired everyone one of you. You haven’t gotten anything done but bicker and fight over the stupidest shit. SSA, it takes close to 5 years just to get your benefits which is ridiculous and the only way you can win your fight is with a lawyer. Instead of taking so long get more people to work the paperwork here is a thought the IRS people working there move them to SSA and your good. Pass the forgiveness on student loans, give a certain tax credit on people who have already paid theirs off. And frankly stop pushing EVs on everyone if they want to drive one, they will.
This country could be great again should be great again if we don’t have stupid people running the show.
No I am not republican or democrat I am just a tired angry American who believe that disable people should be heard.
Sheri Rhodes (Senator, Art House Publication)
June and The Woman Who Did 