I hate flashbacks. I do
While I was suppsed to rest, and enjoy Yule. My husband got really sick so I did what every good wife does and I had to handle it, during the night.
I was thinking about my ear, my skull . Wasnt going to get any sleep. I started to remember back a bunch of years, more so than 20 where I beliee I was abused. Not by my father but by my ex. Now I see why my skull was so thick. The doctors say it wasnt from my disease, it was from trauma and abuse.
Now I have to try to remember what happen, because of the abuse what happen to me?
I do also remember oing to work after leaving the battered woman’s shelter, black and blue and my now husband could attest to that.
I do also remember my ex hsband like to drive reckless. While I was pregnant we had a nasty wreck. He never had me checked out. He never would let me go to my doctor’s apointments alone. He was always in the room. That was so weird and I think that is where my anxeity with doctors comes from.
He would always force me up to be with the baby. I didnt have much sleep after the birth of our daughter, because of him. I am pretty sure that is where their claim for post pardurm (never was diagnosed).
He didnt want me to sleep, as well as he wanted me to work all the time and do my wifey duties by satisfying him . When I didnt want to do any of that and just rest. He would gaslight me into it.
He worked at Pizza Hut after his arrest. There was gaslighting as well attached to that.
Will go more into these flashbacks as I go through them. It a difficult part of healing.
